Vera Green's Journal

11:25am: December News
It's been a full month so far. April's makeover whizzed through it's final stages. Here are before and after pics:



Bit of a change, eh? We took her straight out to her first party as the new improved April at Jamfancy HQ. It was an ace party - v. Xmassy with mince pies and cupcakes and a Secret Santa and stuff. More than 50 girls turned up, and more than 30 live at the Jamfancy homestead, so it was, like, the ultimate gathering. You might be able to spot April at the back of this pic, between Poppy Love and Fleur. Honey Pie reckons she likes to stand next to the old birds to try and make herself look younger. But Honey Pie's a bitch. I think she's jealous of April, what with practically being an albino and all. You might also be able to see the top of my hat in this picture - I'm hidden behind the fluffy cushion. *hrmph* Dave's there too. She wore a gold sparkly jumpsuit - she said the party was a 'marvelous networking opportunity' so she had to stand out. Sounds like Dave - at least she left her Blackberry behind this time.



April went home to the House of Madigan after the Xmas fun. I think she'd missed the other Madigan girls, except for Francoise who she reckons is a total airhead. She's not above stealing her clothes though ;)

Meanwhile, at Cocoa Jackson mansions, young Chihiro has risen from the dead (she expired recently from complications due to her rampant anorexia). Unfortunately, the lack of calories caused all her lovely pink hair to fall out, so she's wearing a wig until she can grow some new hair of her own. Hair keeps growing for a while after you die, right?



I just wish she wouldn't keep scaring the cat.

We've put our tree up, but there aren't any pressies under it yet. I'm starting to fear the postie won't bring us anything...

8:22pm: I've got a Kitty
Pepper arrived last week. She's really cute. Here we are hanging out in the living room with Honey Pie:



Kitties sleep a lot.

12:01pm: Spring Racing Carnival
Ugh! What's with the orange spray-tans people? And what is it about racing fashion that makes even the most spoiled Toorak princesses look like they shop at JayJays?

At least Eva Longoria didn't show up this year.

11:18am: Happy Birthday Chuck!
My favourite anorexic celebrates her birthday today!



Well, she's not doing much celebrating herself, cuz she's in the salon and probably in several different pieces. The rest of us are having a drink for her though. We're thoughtful like that ;)

11:38am: Come oooooonnn!
Why isn't my kitty here yet? I'm going to call her Pepper. I think I'm going to freeze myself til she arrives...

1:57pm: I'm Getting a Kitty!
She's sposed to be for all of us, but I get to name her. Yay!



I've wanted a kitty to play with for ages =^.^=

I've just realised it's been so long since I've posted that I haven't told you all about my birthday party or anything. It was awesome.



There was cake and fairy bread and, like, 50 girls turned up. Good ones too, no mingers or anything. And I got loads of presents. Bet Chuck doesn't get that many.

Speaking of Chuck, she's back in the Cocoa Jackson salon again. It takes a fair bit of work to keep that girl from sinking into the ugly pit. The bubble-gum pink hair is all gone, though Honey Pie has stolen a few bits for highlights.

There'a another girl in the salon too - a visitor from the House of Madigan. She had quite some stories, I can tell you.



Apparently, Mimi is totally jealous of Fleur and spreads rumours about her behind her back. She also thinks it was Peggy who leaked that video of Francoise to the press, though she blamed it on Fifi Geldof. Makes our house look peaceful...

10:32am: Star Wars Lies!!!
Your results:
You are C-3PO

C-3PO 72% Darth Maul 64% Boba Fett 64% R2-D2 63% Jar Jar Binks 63% Darth Vader 62% Han Solo 61% Luke Skywalker 61% Emperor Palpatine 59% Mace Windu 59%

You don't have a lot going for you, and you let everyone know it. You may have one or two close companions left, but if you keep complaining they may wander off.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz



At least it didn't say Jar Jar Binks.

12:20pm: The Final Countdown
Just one day to my birthday!! Woo!!

In other news, I taught my Nintendog, Lucy, to do a backflip.

2:22pm: Eleanor: not as ugly as expected
OK, I'll admit it, the new girl isn't a complete spud. Nice complexion I spose. Freaky hair though, like Lush Chuck, so she'll probly be more in competition with her than me for modelling jobs. Like when they need a cover girl for Weirdo Monthly or something. She's not very versatile though. Her eyes are one colour only. BOR-ing!



At least she's kinda quiet around the house though. Much easier to live with than Honey Pie who's so annoying. She always seems to be practising tap-dancing or something. She keeps putting Calamity Jane on the DVD player and trying to copy Doris Day's dancing. Apparently we've got more life in Deadwood City than the whole of Illinois. Who knew?



I just hope they're all buying me fantastic pressies for my birthday. Only 2 days to go! I got the Cocoa Jackson Fashion team to knock me up a special new party dress just in case the girls want to take me out and buy me things :)

3:41pm: My Celebrity Lookie-Likies


I was expecting Kate Moss. *sulk*

1:02pm: Nobody tells me anything...
Unbeknownst to me there's been a girl in the Cocoa Jackson salon for a couple of months. Management can be so secretive sometimes. Mind you, from the peak I got at her, I don't think she's going to be much competition for modelling work.

11:06am: OMG!
The new girl spent 2 solid days in the salon:



She's come out with new eyes, lashes and slightly less fuzzy hair. She looks alright now I spose. I don't see why she has too be so annoying though. Why do blondes feel the need to be so bubbly? The worst thing is, she claims her name is Honey Pie. *sigh*

4:04pm: New arrival at the Cocoa Jackson Modelling Agency
Some kind of all-singing, all-dancing whirlwind blew through here yesterday. Can you believe management took her on on the basis of this photo?



All I can say is, don't they have frizz-ease in Britain?

10:24am: Catching up
I know it's been a long time since I updated my journal, but you know, it's a busy life being a top model - practically non-stop in fact. Seeing as it's been such a long time though I'll just give you the whistle-stop version of the last few months.

First, there was the trip to England. After some outdoor winter modelling (you'll notice I'm such a pro I still wore a mini no worries), I can conclusively report that snow sucks arse.



Next trip was Chihiro's. She went to Perth and said it was "pleasant". Coming from Chuck, that's probably not a compliment.



She went on a winery & chocolate tour, but was disappointed not to see any oompa loompas at the chocolate factory.

The funniest thing was that, when she got back, she was offered a bridal shoot for an alternative magazine.



I mean, how many anorexic goths can there be in the market for wedding dresses?! She's just hoping Jack White will see the pictures and come whisk her away. No hope, Scrawny!

Next big news involved the arrival of a new agent at the Cocoa Jackson Modelling Agency. I was a bit dubious at first - I mean, this English chick turns up and is all "Mwah! Mwah! Darling!"



But it turns out she's fucking brilliant! She can talk anyone into anything. She even does that trick where she pretends to forget people's names like they're not important enough to remember, then charms their pants off. They end up feeling honoured she noticed them at all. Awesome. If she was anyone else's agent, I'd hate her.

Actually, I did kind of hate her for a while after she convinced me to get a facial. She was all "it's just like microdermabrasion, darling". I dunno much about the technical side of beauty therapy, but I'm pretty sure microdermabrasion doesn't involve sandpaper. My facial did. Bitch. Thing is, I look so good now I had to let her off. I mean, look:



As you can probly tell, I've had another body transplant too - Licca body this time - & I think I might stick with this one. Skinnier legs and more flexible arms - result!

Talk again soon!

9:37am: Goodbye Cocoa Jackson Lane
Well, we're off. It's our last day living in glorious Cocoa jackson Lane. It was my first home in Australia after arriving from Singapore and it's been pretty cool. I dug out a picture of my first day actually, surveying the modest wardrobe I'd brought with me.



God, I needed a haircut!

I have been assured that the new house is bigger and shinier though, so perhaps it'll be even better there. My agent has promised Chuck and me that she'll start building us a fabulous apartment of our own once we've settled in at the new place. I'm lobbying for a rooftop garden with spa bath. I think Chuck just cares about the music room.

The cat will be sad, I reckon. He has to say goodbye to his next-door kitty chum, Charlie, after many sunny afternoons spent hanging out on the front steps. Bless.



The dog's happy as a clam though. In fact, when she went to look at the place yesterday, she immediately buried a Shmacko chewy treat in the back yard. I think that counts as making yourself at home in doggy world.

So right now Chuck and I are sitting on our fluffy pink couch watching Matt pack and carry stuff about. Soon we'll be sitting watching removal men load a big van. Sometimes it's really good to be a girl - no heavy lifting for us!

9:31pm: Stuff with me on it!
Well, I've been working hard to pick out only the best pictures of *me*, and, that done, I can now announce the launch of:

Vera G. Designs

Come see my store at Cafe Press and choose yourself the best present ever*!


* unless you've already been given a present with a picture of me on it.

12:01pm: They say it's the quiet ones you've got to watch...
...and, good god, is it true in Chuck's case. I suggested we celebrate her new look and next thing I know, she's got the tequila out. Jesus, and can that girl drink. Must have been the Arizona upbringing or something - they must raise the young 'uns on moonshine. I've had about 12 Cokes and I still want to puke.




Finally got her to admit how much work she's had done though. Body transplant, make up removal and skin re-surfacing, 2 layers of new eyelashes, new eyechips, eyeliner, and, of course, the total hair transplant. Ouch. Glad I'm a natural babe. More or less.

She totally needs some new clothes though - mine are too big for her scrawny flat chest. We'll have to get the stylist onto it.

5:27pm: Chihiro emerges...
...and has she had a lot of work done!

Mind you, she did need it. She was a bit of a minger when she arrived and required sandpaper and metho to get her gross green eyeshadow off. That's not a sign of good make up application, girls.

Anyway, on with the before and after shots:

Before (minger):





After (non-minger):





I think she might actually look respectable enough for me to take her out in public now. She's a bit quiet though.

4:30pm: Pressies!!
Christmas was great because there were loads of pressies for moi! I got hairslides and a scarf and a cardie. And I got brand new cherry red Doc Martens. I so totally rock!






BTW, I think young Chuck is almost ready to emerge from the salon. Keep an eye on the skies!

11:15am: On Top of the World
Just got back from a trip up North. Graduations, early Christmas celebrations, visiting friends, roadtrips, pressies and turkey - hectic holiday fun!

The highlight for me was a photoshoot in the Cathedral Rock National Park in New South Wales. It was quite a drive and we had to set out at 4 in the morning, but I slept most of the way. Got to look fresh for the camera! Here I am on top of Cathedral Rock - it's the highest place you can climb to in Australia:



While we were up there, a helicopter came flying past to deliver a park bench to a spot at the bottom of the rock. We actually looked down on it! Awesome. Good job Chuck wasn't there - she's scared of heights. She'd have had a meltdown >_<



Only 3 days to Christmas! Hope I get loads of presents!

4:42pm: Christmas Parties
When you're a top model, you have to go to all the season's coolest parties. Last week was the big Melbourne model Christmas party. There must have been about 70 of us there. Some of the veterans turned up - they're over 30 but still pretty cool - and that 'pip' noise when they change their eye colours - now, that's class. Chuck couldn't come with me because she's back in the salon for hair replacement.

See if you can spot me:

1:29pm: Christmas Preparations
I love Christmas! My first pressie has arrived so we put up the tree. It feels squishy and it's kind of light...

3:16pm: Chihiro ~ Constant Guitar Playing
The new chick has barely stopped playing my guitar since she came out of the salon. She's such a muso. Boring! She keeps telling me that when we have our band together I'm going to have to hit the right chords all the time. Some people know nothing about live music.

She keeps sneaking off on her own to play - she heads up to the store pretending to help out with the posting and then the guitar comes out. Sneak.

11:53am: Chihiro emerges
She is, indeed, bald as a coot, but was persuaded to emerge from the salon with a wig and a hat. I set the dog on her for a laugh.

1:00pm: Circle of Blythes
I'm kind of starting to like hanging out with other girls. You can totally tell some of these chicks have had work done though.



Apparently, the new girl here is called Chihiro. Her eyes & body transplant have been done, but she's still waiting for the hairdresser to get just the right shade of pink, so she won't come out of the salon. Probly looks like chemo Blythe or something :p